When I was in high school, I was an only child, and I never had any issues at all.
In the class I attended, we had a few issues.
The boys got into a lot of trouble and I didn’t get to speak up.
But I do remember one girl, she didn’t really get into trouble.
She was really quiet and she didn´t say anything.
And then the boys would start talking.
The girl would stand up and she would yell at them.
And the boy would stand there and he would do nothing.
I would hear him scream, but he didn´ts do anything.
So when I would sit down in class, I would stand and look at her, and she wouldn´t speak.
But she would say, ‘Mum, Dad, don´t talk about it.
Don´t worry about it, don`t worry.
Just sit down, listen to me.
Don’t talk about this, just sit there.’
I was very disappointed.
She did not want to talk about anything.
I told her, ‘I have problems, I have problems.
Just do what you want to do, and then when you are happy, just go home.’
So she would sit there.
Then when she would get home, I realised she was not happy.
She would just sit in the corner.
It was just a constant torment, and a constant struggle.
The teacher would say to the girls, ‘Don´t tell anyone about this.
We want you to be quiet.
Don`t talk, just be quiet.’
But the girls were so quiet, and the teachers were so rude, that the girls would just stand there.
But even then, they would not say anything to me, so I had to keep quiet and be quiet, too.
I remember one day, the boys came to the house and started yelling.
They were so loud.
They would yell, they had a lot to say, they were talking about stuff.
The teachers were saying, ‘Look, don’t you dare say anything, just do what we tell you.’
But they did not listen.
I kept quiet.
And that was how it was until I came to a place called St Pauls Grammar School, which is now called the Kailash Nagar High School.
I was so angry because I knew that if I said anything, I could get in trouble.
And I would have to get in the same trouble.
So I would talk about the problems that were happening.
But the teacher said, ‘The girl is not allowed to talk, she is not talking, and you are not allowed in the school.
You are not speaking in class.
She is a troublemaker.’
So I kept silent, and that was it.
And this is when I started to have the worst trouble.
My mother was worried about me.
My father was worried.
I didn´ t want to go to school because I was scared.
And my mother was very worried about my safety.
I had a friend, a boy named Nagesh, who used to stay with me.
He would just go to my house and I would stay there.
He used to take me to the park when the school was closed.
He did not even come to the class, because I wouldn´ t talk.
My friend, I used to call him Dad, because he used to always come and talk to me in class and talk about stuff, but now he just sits there.
When he used a cane, I did not speak, but I did speak.
And at night, I came and talked to him.
I used words that he would use.
He was very quiet, he would not talk at all, and when he used some words, I couldn´t understand them.
He said, `I don´ t understand them either, I just say them.’
He said they were not words.
He just used them.
I tried to understand them, but they were just words, not words that I could understand.
So one day I was walking with him, he was walking very slow.
And he came across a path, and he went and walked in that direction.
So he was just walking in that way.
And when he came to me at that time, he said, `Mum you should not have come.
I am so scared, I am afraid.’
I said, ‘What is wrong with you?
You are scared, you are afraid.
What is wrong in you?
Why do you be afraid?’
And he said `Why do you fear me?
I just came to tell you, I will come when I want to, when I need to, I don´T care who you are.’
So he came and said,`Don´d go and ask him.’
So we went to him and asked him.
He went and asked us questions.
He told us about his father